Koskov-Koskov's Dwelling of Enjoyment

This is my dwelling of enjoyment. If you hate people who wear fcuk t-shirts and enjoy low quality community television - this might be the place for you.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

10 Tips on How to Make Me Think You're a Loser

  1. Wear a fcuk t-shirt
  2. Wear a t-shirt which is intended to be a cop out of fcuk t-shirts but does such a poor job of it that it ends up being just as bad as an actual fcuk t-shirt
  3. [for women] Start talking about your slutty sexual exploits as if finding a man desperate enough to enjoy fornicating with you or looking at your exposed breasts is some kind of achievement worthy of gratuitously dropping into conversation
  4. Laugh at everything which incinuates something sexual as if the only prerequisite for good humour is that it somehow alludes to a filthy sexual act
  5. Act all confused whenever I start talking about Crazy Crosswords or Steele Jensen.
  6. Show off how ironic you can be by wearing a fashionable t-shirt which condemns fashion (such as the fcuk fashion t-shirt)
  7. Get a job as a bouncer at Birdie Num-Num's in Fortitude Valley
  8. Smoke in school uniform. In fact just be any high schooler who struts around like they're anything other than the dumb, worthless conformists that they generally are.
  9. Start an ambiguous touchy-feely relationship with someone because you're both too boring to actually say anything interesting to each other.
  10. Follow Manchester United, The Brisbane Broncos or the Brisbane Lions (I will let you off with a warning if you actually started following any of these teams before they became phenomenonally successful).

Good luck in your quest.

13 Comments:

At 10:31 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whats Crazy Crosswords?

 
At 9:20 am, Blogger Biggles said...

I'm hoping that that was a joke. If it wasn't, please never come back here again - or at least do some research before you do.

11pm Weekdays on Briz31.

 
At 9:27 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree completely, also add, people who seek fights at nightclubs, people who drive to close to other cars in the rain, and people who complain excessively at television advertising.

 
At 9:28 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wait that makes it 13 .. the devils number

 
At 11:21 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who is Steele Jetson?

 
At 11:39 am, Blogger Biggles said...

Get out!

 
At 3:12 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go the lions, you little beauty!!!

 
At 5:55 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Yuri,
have you noticed that Ned Martin seems to have got himself a girlfriend - the mysterious Bronwen. I can only imagine what goes on in those sections that you need authorisation to read.
cheers,
Redbeard

 
At 9:54 pm, Blogger Biggles said...

yes, i did notice about the mysterious Bronwen. Exciting stuff.

 
At 12:10 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i noticed too, not that counts for anything....
btw hi commie :o)

 
At 10:49 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bidding on the password to read private entries starts at $5.

 
At 10:06 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've made the point before, but I'll make it again. Bronco's fans must be regarded as acceptable, and beyond any need for any serious warning - but only on three conditions.
a) That you started following them from the very start, prior to which you actually followed the Queensland cup.

b) That you continued supporting them in 1999, and even at the point where they needed to win 11 of 13 games to make the 8, insisted they were still able to win the premiership.

c) In the wake of the 2004 season you have not announced that you actually follow the Broncos and the Cowboys equally.

Regards.

Julian

 
At 10:32 pm, Blogger Biggles said...

i concur with Julian's statements. I had people like him in mind when I said 'I will let you off with a warning if you actually started following any of these teams before they became phenomenonally successful' - but clearly I didn't take it far enough.

 

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