Top 10 Reasons not to Eat a Sandwich at a Construction Site

1. If your sandwich is really, really nice, the other workers might get jealous and try and 'demolish' you.
2. If your sandwich is really, really, really nice the other construction workers may attempt to trade you your sandwich for theirs using false advertising (i.e. 'this is a really nice sandwich. you'd like it')
3. If you drop your sandwich, the 5 second rule could end up with you biting into wet concrete which will set in your stomach and make it itchy.
4. If the crane driver on the site is incompetent, he may accidentally pick up your sandwich on route to the crane's next destination.
5. Other construction workers may frown upon you and refer to you as 'white collar' behind your back because you're eating a nicely cultivated sandwich instead of stock blue collar food. (i.e. the Four'n'Twenty pie).
6. If you're stupid, you may have accidentally put chili on your sandwich instead of capsicum which could end up with you running around squealing like a girly-man. People will mock you for such behaviour.
7. If you're eating a sandwich on a port-a-loo, the intense smell created by past incidents in the port-a-loo could seep into the sandwich.
8. If you pop out to eat the sandwich for a moment, you may end up in a room with a television playing the Reba McClane show.
9. Reba McClane may smell your sandwich from afar and actually turn up at the construction site asking for a bite.
10. Reba McClane should be marched against a wall and shot 8 times in the head.

An Al Giordino collaboration