Signals and Systems - A Short Story

"When is it happening?" whispered Janet as she rubbed her sore toe with lavender oil.
"The event in question occurs soon."
Janet gulped. "But 'soon' is so subjective, Geoff. If earth's impending destruction was due to occur in 6 months time and I asked you 'when is the world going to end?', you could easily describe it as 'soon'. Whereas if I asked you 'when are you going to pass me that bucket of hot popcorn?' and you had planned to wait 30 seconds before doing so, 'soon' would be an inadequate description of the amount of time which is about to elapse before handing it to me. Innit'?"
Geoff pondered this momentarily before gripping the tusks of the wild hog who was accompanying the duo. The tusks were firm. The tusks were warm. Geoff's eyes glinted with pleasure as he looked the hog in the eye. His teeth were clenched. Yeah, baby.
"This is fucking stupid, Geoffery. We've been stuck out in this dank poo-hole trying to stake out Dr. Watson's house every night for 5 months. I don't think the hog is helping, either. He hasn't eaten in days. He's sick."
"My darling - you know little. What better way to keep the hog from messing everything up than by starving him of energy. We have rendered the hog powerless. We are in control. Not the hog," Geoff muttered.
"The hog is in control..." the duo said simultaneously.