A Good Tradesman Blames His Tools - A Screenplay

FADE IN

EXT. OF GRAHAM’S HOUSE – LATE MORNING.

GRAHAM walks outside of his house to find a TRADESMAN kneeling down outside his fence, looking through a tool box. Graham stands next to his rocking horse and takes it under his arm, and begins to point and yell at the tradesman with his other arm

GRAHAM

I’ve got a rocking horse and I’m not afraid to use it, cobber!

The Tradesman notices Graham, stands up and acknowledges him with a tip of his hat.

TRADESMAN

Good morning sir, I -

GRAHAM

Don’t patronise me, sunshine! I know your type!

TRADESMAN

Look, sir, it’s just that you -

GRAHAM

Look; if YOU want to put MY street number on MY letter box because you were paid to by ME, just go ahead! See if I fucking care!

The Tradesman nods and again starts sifting through his toolbox.

TRADESMAN

Certainly sir, I’ll -

GRAHAM

Just fuck off.

TRADESMAN

What?

GRAHAM

I said, ‘FUCK OFF!’ Get off my fucking property!

TRADESMAN

OK.

GRAHAM

Cunt.

The tradesman packs up his toolkit and runs away.

FADE OUT