A Cause for a Mandate and a Mandate for a Cause
It’s quite simple really. If you’ve got a horse, just fucking ride it. I don’t care, I’ve got cheese back at the flat I can sit at home and get fat watching re-runs of Gilligan’s Island while my arse gets plastered on the radio because its so hot that they got stuck together and now I cant separate them. I’ll call it an ‘arse radio!’ Goddamn that’s funny I can’t wait to tell the boys at the T.A.B. about this one. That’s fucking funny. Imagine the looks on their faces when I tell them that there is a radio attached to my arse! Once again I will be a hero! ‘Forget the Dog VS Cat incident, this man is a hero of his generation! HOORAHHHHHHHHH!’ That’s what they will say, my boy. No more ‘Hey Dog VS Cat boy, come over here and make a dog fight a cat just like you did 6 weeks ago you FUCKING IDIOT!’. No, there will be no more of that. I have a mandate for a cause! A cause for a fucking mandate, mate! Right, I’m off the toilet.
posted by Biggles @ 11:44 pm
8 Comments:
I believe you’re missing a comma.
artistic license, my friend
and i'd like to establish at this point that this post IS art.
Jack says i dont understand.
Crocker, you ARE a genius. There's no way I could pull off the kind of writing that you do for your Mexico articles - your general knowledge and wordplay blows away anything i've ever done.
My writing style is derivative (check out http://maddox.xmission.com/) and i'm painfully short on ideas and vocabulary. The I Hate My Penis article was based on an idea that I stole from Larry David. The article about watching Letterman at 1 in the morning was a reasonable idea - but it was poorly structured and the jokes never flowed. The rest of them are mostly in-jokes which nobody even gets.
Perhaps i'm being a bit hard on myself here - but if I am it's reinforcing a valuable point. You say that you're certain that you couldn't write how I write and refuse to acknowledge the brilliance of you're own work. I'm certain that I couldn't write how you write and i don't believe that what I do is really any good. I too, have no dick.
Anyway, I think we should definitely start using your mole status in the brissy street press scene to spread some exciting rumours about o'toole. It IS a funny idea - and I don't believe it's been thought up before (well maybe it has - but reiterating it was an act of comic genius all the same).
Have you ever seen Curb Your Enthusiasm? It's possibly the single greatest television show i've ever seen. I'm convinced that Larry David is the funniest man alive. If you are unenlightened, i'll lend you the dvd's when you returneth.
As for music, i'm completely obsessed with this Brisbane band called Gentle Ben and his Sensitive Side. They play the kind of music that sounds like it should be on a tarantino film but the frontman is this crooner character who sounds like nick cave might sound if he took a 10 year holiday to spain and learnt how to scream.
exciting
peace out
to expand on the rant about me being derivative - It would probably interest you to know that I got the idea for the 'interview with myself' article from your interview with Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo on your blog.
I truly am without a penis.
I am unconvinced that this is art. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it is not art. Mind you I've never really accepted the concept of art at all, it all seems quite silly to me.
Was there an origin of this particular piece? It reads to me like half way between a Sam Kecovich rant and a VB commercial, with a twist of neurosis thrown in. That in itself is an appealing idea - but does it have any deeper origin?
My compliments to both you and Mr Crocker. I imagine that if I had any interests I could one day be humorous, but for now I am left to post replies as I follow in your respective shadows.
J. Sinclair.
As much as i'd love to claim that this post has some deep and fascinating origin, i'm afraid to say that it was merely the result of me sitting down with microsoft word and vomiting out the first words that came to my head. It was written in probably under a minute - possibly with some editing afterwards. I can't actually remember as I actually wrote this about 2 years ago. The inspiration for this post came from http://www.geocities.com/beyondbackfence . Go to the rantings section and you will discover once again that I am derivative and talentless.
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