10 Things You Don't Know About Me

1. I'm a sociopath. I hate people and feel extremely embarrassed when purchasing toilet paper - just like Darryl Hannah [1]

2. I giggle like a school girl whenever I watch Jamie Leonarder on the SBS Movie Show. I'm not joking. A few nights ago, Fenella was away and it was just Megan and Jamie hosting the show. Jamie was so funny and charming and Megan was giggling and touching him like there was no tomorrow. I was so jealous but then again I don't blame her. He's so cool. He made another awesome pun this week as well. When reviewing Revenge of the Sith he quipped 'I kept thinking to myself whilst watching this film - is Sith an anagram?' Oh my god. He's so cool.

3. I have a mild form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Whenever I am around a computer I can't physically stop myself from going to www.smh.com.au every few minutes. I am convinced that some spectacular news-worthy event has just occurred and I'm going to be the first to find out about it (apart from the journalists at the Sydney Morning Herald of course).

4. I'm a cleptomaniac. I steal everything which is in my peripheral vision. Guitar picks and pens are my specialty. I am the mysterious black hole that Jerry Seinfeld referred to when he quipped 'Where are all the pens?'

5. I draw strange, abstract shapes and doodles whenever I have access to a pen and a piece of paper. This is an addiction, not a hobby. Every single piece of written work I've ever done has been littered with them - even stuff which I have handed in for assessment. I'm not sure what they mean. I'd show them to a psychologist but I'm petrified that he/she would deduct that I am a pedophile based on the drawings and lock me away in an instution for life.

6. I live a very exciting life. A normal day for me would involve more adventure, drama and hot gypsies than you'd normally experience in 6 months (or 50 years in the case of the hot gypsies). When people ask me what I do and what I've been up to I will quite often flippantly remark, 'not much. I never really do anything'. It's a lie. I just don't want you to feel sorry for yourself and you're petty, boring existence.

7. I can't tell if the girl on a computer diagonally from me is attractive or not. She has a book with the word 'grammatik' on the cover. Perhaps she's French. I can't stop looking at her. Perhaps she is attractive. Hmmmm.... not so sure anymore. Maybe she isn't. I think she's a little lost - she's looking all over the room. She seems quite discombobulated. Maybe I should say something to her. Shame I'm a sociopath. She just sighed. Now she's using the computer. I'll stop now. Ask me how it went in the comments section. I could write about this all night. Seriously. I've decided that she's attractive again.

8. I find http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/UQ_Toilets very amusing

9. I worship the Beach Boys

10. I don't like you

Bibliography

[1] Dr. Gonzo, personal communication 2005