A Message to People in Relationships: You Don't Deserve to be Happy

Why do people view it as such a positive thing when two people get in a close, loving relationship? I can't work it out.

Society would have me believe that when someone spends hideous amounts of time away from their friends and general obligations so that they can lie on a bed and exchange their disgusting bodily fluids with some overrated whore/dick, i'm supposed to jump around, applaud and repeat the phrase 'i'm so happy for you' over and over whilst running amongst flowers and swimming in rivers of chocolate.

I've got news for everyone in a relationship: you don't deserve to be happy. You're all selfish, vain and nobody respects you. I deserve to be happy. Not you. Me.

While you're fornicating and doing whatever 'being happy' entails - people are dying in Africa. There's washing up to be done. I want a cup of tea. Some lady across the street has just fallen over and broken her neck and can't make it to a telephone and her only chance of being attended to is if you can hear her cries and help her out. But NO - you can't hear her over the sound of your own superfluous lust. That poor lady is going to die in horrible pain because you're too busy fulfilling your own primal, yet ultimately pointless desires (and sex is pointless if you use contraception). Worst of all, deep down you probably think it's totally worth it.

You're all disgusting and I hope you burn like the witches that you are.