More Neurosis

I'm thirsty. IGA is uphill. Uphill is bad. I exert more energy going uphill than I would if the path to IGA was flat (or downhill). Exerting energy is bad because it causes me pain. Pain is bad.

I watched another Woody Allen film today. I think watching two new Woody Allen films in the space of 2 days was a bad idea. Watching one a week was fun and I found myself being charmed by his neurosis whilst simultaneously experiencing a warm empathy for it. Just what one wants on a Sunday night. I don't know why - it was probably the film itself, but I found myself getting dragged down with him this time. Being dragged down is bad - even when it's just a figure of speech.

My continuing odyssey through John Lennon's solo back catalogue also resulted in me digging up his angriest, most frustrated release. I listened to that twice this morning. I don't think that helped either.

I achieved nothing at uni today. Achieving nothing is bad. What good is it being alive if i'm just going to waste time? There are neurotic middle-aged people all over the world kicking themselves over their wasted youth and, here I am, completely aware of this and I'm still wasting entire days.

I finished all the milk. I won't be able to eat my muesli tomorrow morning. I'll have no energy the entire day. I won't achieve anything again. I'm sick of buying food because I feel like a disgusting, wasteful loser after buying food. There's no coffee in the house either. I'm going to leave the house tired and miserable tomorrow.

I keep putting the heater on. The electricity bill is going to go up. Everyone will blame me. Even if they don't take the step of asking me to pay more than the divvied up share, they're going to make pay with their silent scorn and derision.

I'm still thirsty.